Going With the Flow of the World
The ability to change with an ever-changing world is an innate ability that we sometimes forget to cultivate. It’s easy to be all “zen” when everything is going right. But life happens and situations arise. Going with the flow of the world is not always easy. To add a wrinkle, when do we hunker down and hold on? To go a step forward, when is the right time to surrender and retreat. Control, adaptation, and surrender are all different approaches. Knowing the difference between what WE CAN change externally and what WE NEED to change internally can be vexing. When is force the answer and when is adaptation the answer? When is retreat the answer? Tales, legends and myths are lenses in which we can examine these moments in life when we must decide between adapting, retreating or holding to the center.
Practice and Awareness
Most successful species have an uncanny knack for adaptation. It is, after all, the very reason they’re successful. However, as human beings with the capacity for self-awareness, we needn’t rely on innate talent. The ability to merge with the occasional chaos of life and ride it out like a rogue wave is a skill that can be cultivated. However, it does require practice and awareness. With many things in life, maybe we try to apply our will at first only to learn that an adaptive perspective may be needed. So we switch tactics. This happens often. And that is perfectly fine. It’s a process.
Adaptation, Retreat, and Control
This week let’s explore real-life situations where we can apply control, adaptation, or retreat and observe the results. We are showing our clients everyday examples of adaptation, retreat, and control. We can also pull from mythology many examples of this struggle between grasping (control) and letting go (surrender) and adaptation (change). How many can you think of?
Barn Life Recovery is the first treatment center in the state of California with a license to treat mental illness on an outpatient community-based level. At our holistic facility in Orange County, our Barn Life staff, within an idyllic setting, encourage tried and true healing practices vis-a-vis Tai Chi, synthetic-free psychology, relapse prevention, martial arts, and meditation through our Orange County intensive outpatient program and day program. If you or someone you know is struggling with anxiety, depression, or other mental health issues, give us a call today and start to love life again!
Are cravings and desires synonyms?
To put it another way, are they two words for the same thing? Instead, maybe they are degrees of the same thing? Many times in life a simple desire like wanting to eat lunch can become more and more serious as the hours tick by and by. That same simple desire to eat can evolve into a craving for nourishment that is altogether physical, mental and emotional. Perhaps I desire a small drink to take the edge off, only to succumb gradually to the constant craving for alcohol that the alcoholic knows all too well.
Desires seem to be more manageable.
Cravings lend themselves to a more insidious and desperate appearance. Cravings seem to create more frustration in us than simple desires. That which we crave frustrates us. Desires seem to be more easily satisfied whereas cravings never seem to be satisfied. The original quote of the first Buddha was “Stop desiring what will not be obtained.” This is a highly intellectualized, yet painfully simple, approach to the problem of craving and addiction. If we continue to desire that which we cannot obtain, cravings begin to take root. So where does that leave us in dealing with cravings? The fact is we cannot be perpetually high. Even if by some miracle of science we could create a medication that would allow us to feel a constant undeterred state of joy and pleasure with every breath and step, it would backfire.
Perpetual joy without sorrow would become a living hell.
Always feeling good would become a blank feeling because we would have no variance. As we see in nature countless times over, peaks accompany valleys, highs come with lows, waves are followed by troughs. A perpetual mountain would be absurd. However, the nature of an addict, in the midst of a craving, is akin to this insurmountable obstacle of mountains after mountains. This week let’s look at the nature of cravings and how cravings lead to relapse. Let’s also explore how practicing mindfulness, “nowness” and present-mindedness combats feelings of craving.
Barn Life Recovery is the first treatment center in the state of California licensed to treat mental illness on an outpatient community-based level. We specialize in mild to moderately severe mental illness, co-occurring disorders and addiction. If you or someone you know is struggling with drugs or alcohol, please reach out today. Our admissions specialists are on-call to guide you through the process and get you ready to start loving life again.
Turning in the Widening Gyre
Balance and moderation get a lot of lip service in today’s society. Unfortunately, we talk about these things more than we really value them. With a majority of people carrying high powered computers in their pockets, employers expect us to be on call 24 hours a day. And it’s not enough to eat healthy anymore – we have to cut out one nutrient entirely one day, cut out another the next, and only eat between 2 and 4PM on Thursdays. The answer is always more, better, faster and at Barn Life Recovery, we see the consequences of this every day. Folks running from one must-have to the next must-do, losing their centers and themselves in the process. This week we’re focusing on finding that balance again and with that in mind, here are a few strategies for regaining your equilibrium.
Make a List
We mentioned this one in the “Three-Day Monk” blog a little while back and it’s important enough that it bears repeating. Life becomes a lot more manageable when your daily responsibilities are staring at you in black and white. Take some time one night to write out the things you want to get done the following day. Once you’ve got a decent-sized list, be realistic about your time and abilities and start to prioritize. Remember, this is about balance! Move the extra items to another day and block out larger projects into achievable checkpoints. You’ll wake up the next morning with a game plan and checking items off that list is seriously satisfying!
Take Care of Yourself
I know we all get busy and cooking is a major time sink but hitting Mickey D’s every day for lunch isn’t doing you any favors. You’re not going to achieve balance by eating garbage. Besides, do the math. Add up all the time you spend weekly traveling to and from a fast-food spot as well as the time spent waiting. I’m betting you’re left with a nice block of time in which to do some meal prep on some healthy lunches for the week. Your body runs much more efficiently and pleasantly on premium fuel and your health affects all aspects of your life.
It sounds trite. It’s cliché. You’re sick of hearing it. Fair enough. But if you give it a try, I promise it can change your life. If you want balance and inner peace, you need to start removing the garbage from your life. And for many of us, that means starting with the junk that accumulates in our heads. What good is that negative self-talk doing us anyway? Practice some gratitude instead. Every night before you head to bed, take the time to write out five to ten different things you’re thankful for. Researchers found it helps to lower stress and gives a greater sense of calm at night. Give it a try and see how it works for you.
Get Your Head Right
If you haven’t started a daily meditation practice, do it now. If there’s any single thing I’d like for you readers to get out of these blogs, it’s the importance of meditation. It reduces stress and anxiety, promotes neuroplasticity and brain growth, sharpens focus, and improves sleep. And as you sit, learning to be comfortable in your own skin and the world around you, I guarantee balance will follow.
Barn Life Recovery is the first RETREATment center in the state of California licensed to treat mental illness on an outpatient community-based level. Our blend of evidence-based therapies such as cognitive behavioral therapy, dialectical behavioral therapy, and individual and group counseling, and ancient healing techniques like meditation, tai chi, and yoga is designed to help our clients find their balance and live with a renewed sense of purpose and happiness. If you or someone you love is struggling with depression, anxiety, or other mental health issues, please give us a call today and learn to love life again!
Widening Our Scope
The journey of self-identity does not stop with our own self-knowledge and our own personal practices. In previous blogs, we have discussed raising awareness and implementing strategies to increase interpersonal competence. As we have said, self-mastery is the highest calling one can aspire to. But the time has come to start widening our scope. What is the point of putting in all this work bettering ourselves if we plan on living like a hermit in a mountain cave? Human beings are social animals and the quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives. Furthermore, the acquisition of knowledge means nothing if we aren’t flexible and savvy enough to apply it to new situations. Now we look at how we take this personal self-knowledge and convert it into wisdom in order to take it to the next stage of recovery – our communities.
The Strength of Our Communities
What do we do within our own groups? How do we behave? And the biggest question of all is: how do we contribute? Communities and groups are part of our lives and are the playground in which we navigate life. They offer us the chance to become part of something larger than ourselves. Whether we’re overcoming depression, anxiety, addiction, or other mental health issues, those of us in recovery cannot rely on willpower alone. We learn to rely on others who have gone through or are currently going through similar struggles. Our communities begin to grow and we become stronger. We learn to stand on our own two feet and, as we do, we begin to take closer notice of the newer members of our communities. We start seeing folks who are as we once were. And we realize that we can use our personal struggles to start helping others.
The Protégé Effect
In order for a full rehabilitation we must look at how we engage with the community now and for the future. How can we use what we’ve learned to help others? How can we contribute to back the world around us a better place? The twelve-step meetings often say that we can keep what we have only by giving it away. Psychologists describe something similar in a phenomenon known as the “protégé effect.” We learn, refine, and master the things we know by teaching other people. Teaching others can increase our metacognitive processes, our motivation to learn, and our feelings of competence and autonomy. We start to move through life confidently and with purpose. We look upon the communities we are a part of and that we’ve helped to build with pride and affection.
Barn Life Recovery is the first treatment center in the state of California licensed to treat mental illness on an outpatient, community-based level. We specialize in mild to moderately severe mental illness, co-occurring disorders and addiction. If you are struggling with your mental health, whether it’s depression, anxiety, or just plain feeling overwhelmed, please give us a call today. Our admissions specialists are standing by to answer questions and to help you start loving life again.
Thoughts to Emotions to Attitudes to…
Habits start off innocently enough. Maybe a drink to calm rattled nerves or forgetting in order to blur out a traumatic past. A whole pizza when work was a nightmare. Exercise when stress rears its head. The way you drive to work. A normal day. Call them patterns. Automatic responses or triggered actions. They grow into hard patterns or ruts. It’s not easy to break a pattern. But what were they before they were habits? They likely begin as thoughts. These thoughts trigger emotions. Emotions stack up to build attitudes. Attitudes toward the world, people, yourself, etc. Attitudes are like temporary personalities. They are often situational, changing and varying across time. Attitudes become habits. And habits can be very, very dangerous or extremely good for you.
Replacing the Bad with Good
This week we will focus on how habits are formed. We will also study ways we can break bad habits and replace them with good ones. Often, people identify habits as bad and cease to engage in them. But they fail to replace them with something new. This often results in falling back into the same routines. Ceasing a habit and not replacing it leaves a void in us that is hard to fill. We will look at new scientific breakthroughs that can help guide us in forming new habits from the ashes of our old ones. One of psychotherapy’s chief aims is to help people alter the way they perceive things so that they may augment their behaviors and benefit from this change.
Time, Patience, and Practice
Some may even dare to suggest that patterns and habits may be what drives addiction and many mental disorders. For example, a small habit that may harm us may be to avoid conflict. Maybe standing up to tyranny makes you scared so you developed a response where you shrink and disappear when faced with conflict. Over time, this can manifest as depression and feelings of worthlessness or extreme rage. What would happen if you broke this pattern and stood your ground firm when pressured into conflict? What if you stood up to authority or oppression? It would affect your mental health in a positive way, I would wager. You certainly would not feel depressed as a result of rising to a conflict and meeting a challenge head-on. But learning this new habit takes time, patience and practice. It is a skill that is cultivated via repetition.
It Takes a Village…
This week Barn Life Recovery is helping our students to identify bad habits, as defined by them. We will aid them in rooting it out and replacing it with a self-defined good habit. During the week we can help remind students about their new desired patterns and help them get back into it if they falter. Habit formation takes time. And a community to reinforce it. We have both. Barn Life Recovery is the first treatment center in the state of California licensed to treat mental illness on an outpatient, community-based level. If you are depressed, anxious, or just plain overwhelmed, give us a call today and learn to love life again!
A Powerful Tool for Change
Rebellion and Defiance are ideas that are very near and dear to many, but not all. Are you a rebel without a cause or a rebel without a clue? Are you rebelling solely for conflict? Rebellion is a societal tool, a tool of great power. A tool for change. Furthermore, if used correctly it can be a primary tool in the creation of freedom. Once we can identify the entities that drain us of personal power and the influences that we cling to out of familiarity and fear of change, what is the next step? How do we push the boundaries of our life? What do we do to push through the purgatory of the unknown and uncomfortable change? A powerful option can be rebellion.
Rebellion Against Illusion, Deception, Delusion, and Prejudice
Rebel against the negative voices in your head that have convinced you that you are a freak, that you are weak, that you are not valuable, that you are pathetic. Rebel. Defy. But take caution: make sure you do not rebel against those that share your road, your cause, and your intention. A spark of truth and a fire of defiance against illusion, deception, delusion and prejudice have the power to ignite a movement. Hopefully a movement within yourself first and foremost. Begin with your journey that started when you decided to contemplate your own power. Look to those around you that are also “waking up.” Join them on the road to rebelling against what keeps your spirit and freedom bound.
Breaking Out of the Cycle
A first step is to question all authority. Take note that I did not say challenge all authority. We must learn to differentiate between authority that is there to help from the authority that benefits from your indifference and fear to change. While in recovery, it is easy and commonplace to identify our treatment team as the enemy and many of us have been in institutions where that is the truth. However, challenge your own authority and question whether your rebellion and resistance are well placed or misplaced. Are the people that are trying to help you benefitting from your pain? Or are they challenging you to face the pain that keeps you stuck in a vicious cycle? With rebellion there is risk. To become vulnerable and walk with courage takes risk. You know where you came from but do you really know what is possible? You may never find out if you choose the familiar haunts and negative self-talk that keep you stuck in your own private hell of monotony and “same ol’ same ol’.”
Rebel and choose to take responsibility for your life. As best as you can, choose responsibility for yourself and to hell with the barriers and limits. If you stare at limitations for too long, the risk of complacency will hook you back into the mundane and harmful familiar. Why don’t you deserve a good life? If you can answer this, then you have identified a target to rebel against. Rebel against the mundane. Seek to find out mentors that are examples of change and success through action. Find those that choose to not compromise integrity to corruption and allow their examples to guide you to your own successes.
Time for a Change
Take an honest look at those around you, those in the world or those that have passed. Look at the inspiration and beauty. Look to what gets you excited and motivated. Many will automatically hear the malicious internal voice of negative criticism and judgment telling you that your ideas are stupid or unattainable. If you never take a journey towards the possible, your future is already woven and it will be the same place of doubt, fear, pain, and sorrow you already know too well. Isn’t time for a change? Look around for strength in the brothers and sisters that are also fighting for good change and rebel with them. Don’t settle for defeat. What’s the point? If you can answer this question, then you have identified another target to rebel against.