A New Way of Thinking
For some, “depression” is a scary word that carries a connotation of weakness and shame. For others, it’s a warm blanket to withdraw into over and over again despite knowing the suffocating ramifications. We may be fearful of it, comfortable with it, or just sick of it. Whatever the case, depression on some level is probably part of the reason that brought us to Barn Life. Though some may argue with this, depression is not simply biological or inherent. Your life experiences molded you and created it as a reaction. Of course, some therapists and psychiatrists may have made you feel you are helpless to the monster “Depression,” and that you must live with it.
Years of Internalized Low Self-Worth
It would be easier to tell you to rely on medication*. Or to just accept this is who you are and you’ll have a lifelong struggle. However, that’s simply not based in truth and does you a great disservice. Depression is years of internalized low self-worth. The degree to which someone is conscious of their self-worth varies. Some of us are extremely aware of the hateful thoughts that run through our minds toward ourselves and others. On the other hand, some of us have fallen into disconnected behavioral patterns that numb and keep it out of awareness. We don’t engage in self-endangering or self-imploding behaviors when we are truly connected to our value. We feel proud of who we are, living out our life with meaning.
Reshaping Negative Belief Systems
What drives those behaviors? Belief systems. Negative belief systems are ingrained in us from external forces – caregivers, upbringing, other people’s thoughts, failures, traumatic events, and so forth. Beliefs like “I will never be loved, I am stupid, I am never good enough, I will never amount to anything”. Reshaping these beliefs into adaptive truths such as, “I am enough,” “my life has purpose,” “I deserve happiness,” “I deserve to love and be loved,” are much more difficult. They require us to work from the INSIDE OUT. We will not change these beliefs simply by engaging in behavioral changes or hearing from others you’re worthy and lovable. We need to spend intimate time with ourselves adapting our thoughts. Furthermore, we need to decide who we want to be in alignment with our values. This takes great intention and putting away distractions including seeking validation from others.
How We Choose to Engage with Life
Depression may a part of a bipolar diagnosis or the aftermath of our mania. If so, reflect on what the words are that swirl in your mind during those low periods. Is it telling yourself you’re shameful for your actions? Is it feeling like a lost cause, feeling like you can’t ever do things right or that you’re doing enough? What thoughts fuel the desire to shrink from the world? Remember that our choices send strong messages to ourselves and others. Every day we have an opportunity to change how we internally speak to ourselves, how we treat ourselves and our bodies, how we treat others.
Remember that depressive symptoms result from beliefs, choices, and behaviors – overall how you live and interact with your life. You cannot control life’s circumstances. There will be depressing events and relationships in your life. How you choose to engage with them will make a difference.
*Please note Barn Life honors client choice in seeking medication for intervention and does not devalue the effectiveness of this for some clients (in conjuction with therapy).